Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
