you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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