He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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