I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
