i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
