Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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