if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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