What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
