those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
wow bdsm is so cute
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