The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
