White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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