I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
