do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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