I could have mohawked her pubes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
