I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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