im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
