What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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