she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
did i just pee glitter
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
