I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
