I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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