Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
