Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can Purell be used as lube?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
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you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize