do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
