I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
