My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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