One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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