it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize