What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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