she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
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I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
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I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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