sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
