i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I am one with the molecules
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
