well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
