i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Enjoy the penises
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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