There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize