why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
