textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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