FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
