TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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