Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
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