Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
