No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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