haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
