Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
