i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think I am morally bankrupt
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
my poor anus
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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