Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
