And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
handjob tips. give me some.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my liver is dry heaving
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
