so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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