I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
