Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think I am morally bankrupt
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
