i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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