Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
