Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
