dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Shame - the story of my life.
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