too bad you live with your parents still
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
