There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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