Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I got inside last night via doggy door
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
