I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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