You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
