these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
