Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
