You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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