btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
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he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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