So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
