Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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