I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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