I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
