Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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