I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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