if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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