Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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